Midnight Diapers Blues

After the long process of getting my son Nathan to sleep through the night, I realized the only time his sleep was disturbed (and mine) was when he had soaked the bed.  I always changed him right before bed so I could not understand how he could be that wet!

When he was waking every few hours, of course I checked and changed his wet diaper, not really putting much thought into why he was wet.  Let’s face it, I was already awake.  But now, that we were finally getting some sleep, I did not want to be awakened to a soaking wet baby and bed.  This was presenting a huge problem and I needed a solution. 

I set out to figure this out. I began studying our daily routine and realized he was drinking a lot sometimes as much as 20 ounces at a time.  Yeah, way too much!  Did I say I am a first time mother?  Well I figured it out. The problem was me and I didn't even know it! I was providing a cup with meals, a cup in the car and a cup in the crib.  It was time for a change.

Diaper power

To put this change into motion, I still prepare his cup but it is in the refrigerator or up too high for him to reach.  Nathan now comes to me for his cup.  He is 20 months old and he knows how to say juice which means cup.  Teaching your child to say juice, milk, Sippy, or bobo all could potentially mean cup.  As long as you understand what they mean, you are good.

Since we are in the car before 5:00 pm each day, Nathan gets offered his cup and a toy.  After 5:00, he is only offered the toy.  Dinner is Nathan’s last opportunity for a sip of juice or water, and I try my best to serve dinner no later than 8:00 each evening.  Then to ensure he is not getting too much liquid I have stopped giving Nathan a cup of drink at the beginning of his meal.  I wait until his eating speed has slowed down and then I give him the cup.  This is usually by mid-meal and I noticed by doing this he eats more and drinks less.  With a little effort and lots of determination this has worked and I am no longer changing soaking bed and baby every night.  

Is He Asleep Yet (Part 2)

My son Nathan now goes to bed at 10:00 every night and most nights he sleeps all night long, which is a blessing since this has not always been the case.  So, you might ask me, “How did I accomplish this great feat”?  Trust me when I say, it was not easy!

How

After months of trying to get Nathan to sleep in his own bed and to sleep all night, I sought the advice of many mom’s thinking they might have the solution!    Needless to say, I received a ton of advice, and many suggestions, but the problem with that was I had to try them all!  I put the suggestions in order from the easy & comfortable to the ones I labeled, this person is crazy & I am NOT trying this with my child!  Wow, was I mistaken! 

No More

After months of no sleep, I did the unthinkable, the one thing I did NOT want to do.  I ignored Nathan.  I ignored my child!  Well, guess what?  It worked and in the process of testing this theory, I learned how to differentiate between the hunger; pain; wet diaper, and even sleepy cries.   This was not easy, allowing him to cry; nor was it easy listening to it every 2 hours (yes, he did continue to wake up), but I quickly learned to do what I now call my ‘Nathan Check’.  The Nathan Check is 1) check diaper 2) check blanket and 3) check cup.  During the testing phase, he was almost always good.  Now that he is sleeping through the night, we don’t have those issues, but when he is awake and I hear him cry, the Nathan Check is still a good test to see what’s wrong.  I highly recommend it!

Whats Your Customer Service Level

What's your customer service like?

Today was a day to run errands.  Today's errand takes G-Pa to the VA for a doctor appointment. Today's drive to the VA was a little different. I saw something that made me think and smile. As I passed Vanderbilt children's hospital I saw something wonderful; there were four men dressed like superheroes cleaning the hospital windows. This quickly got me thinking about levels of customer service. These four men decided to make a kids day by dressing up.

I’m mostly stay at home mother, so I guess my customer would be my son. I started to think about my son as a client and wondered if my level of customer service was up to par. In business when you don't provide great customer service your business suffers but what happens when you don’t give your kids your 100%.

What 100 percent looks like to me.

Recently I went out of town to visit a family member. After getting off a 12 hours shift she came to the airport and picked me up.  It was only 9am and she had already had a parent teacher conference at her twin’s school. After enjoying breakfast and some catching up we got to her house. She went home to a big mess her boys and husband had left for her. She cleaned for an hour kitchen, restroom, and bedrooms. After that she pulled out something for dinner. And finally bed or should I say nap.

By 3pm the twins were knocking at the door. They went straight to the kitchen table for a small snack and homework. This was their routine.  I sat and watched as she helped her 9 year olds with homework and cooked dinner. Shortly after the 9 year olds got home the 14 year old come in. Another snack is made and back to homework. Two hours later homework is done the boys are getting ready for football practice, and she was putting dinner on the table. She drops the boys off at practice where their dad will meet them.  It’s time for work and tomorrow she gets to do it all over again.

I focused on the mom, but both of these parents are wonderful. Dad left work, went to football practice, made snacks, got the boys bathed, and off to bed.  They are both sacrificing for their children. These parents are selfless.  The reward is well mannered, intelligent, and one day successful children who will return this love. 

What I’m Learning

I am not sure yet how great my customer service is to my son.  I have learned from watching my family that parenthood doesn’t get easier it just changes. Every day and every year a little more will be added to my parent plate.  Only as time goes on will I be about to grade my parenting skills. 

I started this blog with a window washer story and I ended with a story of wonderful parents. Both stories were an example of wonderful customer service.  It's good to think, compare, and improve. I ask you what your level of customer service is. Is it up to par?

Superhero Video

The Ups and Downs of Daycare

My little man is not in daycare.

Before I started back working I went on a two month journey asking all the wrong questions to find my son a daycare. The problems I ran into were waiting lists and cost. Nathan is my first kid so I never had to talk prices for a daycare before. After touring many programs I felt like I had found the right one. There was no waiting list, the cost was reasonable, and it was close to my house. After only a few weeks at the daycare, I began to see red flags and got a funny feeling in my gut.

Unlike most parents, I only worked part time (25 hours a week) and my schedule was not set. I often showed up at the daycare unannounced. I quickly saw things I didn't agree with. My son had three teachers of whom two were never introduced to me or even mentioned. When they only had a few infants they would send that teacher home and put the kids in the room with a toddlers. They were leaving the kids in their cribs and let them cry.

Education not just Playtime

The only time I saw the staff interacting with the kids was when they were feeding them or changing their diapers. This really bothered me because I remember telling them that my son was very interactive he likes people talking, reading, counting, singing, and playing with him. Usually if this did not happen he would cry. In my tour they assured me that that would not be a problem that that was their regular routine and my son Nathan would fit right in. I felt betrayed when I really found out how they treated the kids.

For $660 a month I felt like my kid should be learning something it and daycare shouldn't just be a glorified babysitter. Sometimes in the morning a teacher would be late and it would just be one teacher with 20 kids. I quickly realized it was time to take my son home. For weeks I took Nathan to work while I looked for a new daycare.  After a while his grandpa volunteered to watch him for a small fee so I could work.

Recently I went to a women's church luncheon and talked to a lady sitting next to me about our kids and jobs. Come to find out she works for the state and her job is the visit and review daycare facilities. She gave me a list of websites to go to find questions to ask your daycare before you hire them. Those sites are listed below. She has said that pop up visits are the best way to find out what your daycare is really like. She suggests everyone do surprise visits to their daycare as often as they can.

What would you have done in my shoes? Have you experienced similar problems?  Tell me your story and experiences.

Parent Quality Childcare

State of Tennessee

Great Childcare Questions

Holiday Savings (Wise Wednesday)

Holiday shopping

If you're like me you've been saving all year for the holidays. But if not that's ok. Today we are going to talk about gift ideas and savings money this holiday. People tend to overspend around the holidays so I have created a few holiday shopping steps to ensure you don’t go over your budget for the holiday. 

Step one: Shop using a list. You are more likely to spend less money and buy less stuff.

Step two: Simple but hard stick to your list. With all the great prices you will be tempted to shop, shop, shop.

Step three: Only buy each person on your list one gift. At the end of the day that person will be glad you remembered them.

Step four: Spend less on younger kids. Kids under the age 5 are most likely not going to remember there gift so there is no need to break the bank.

Step five: Give a card. Holiday cards are inexpensive and a wonderful way to express yourself.

Step six: Create crafts. The holidays is a great time for the family to sit at the kitchen table and create beautiful and almost free gifts.

Step seven: Bake. Who doesn't like a sweet desert? Your gift can be the one the whole family enjoys while you all sing carols.

Step eight: Do spend so much. If you buy that expensive gift are they going to use it or brake it?

Step nine: Buy useful gifts. Buy gifts you can use year round so you can get your money worth. 

Step ten: Buy gift cards. A lot of time it's you buy a gift cards you spend less money than you would on a gift. Some businesses give you rewards and points for buying cards from them.

By using these few steps you can save amount of money this holiday season. You can get a gift for all the people on your list and feel good about it.

Why Budgeting Matters (Wise Wednesday)

What's with a budget anyway? 
Budgets are for everyone and the kind of budget you use is important. I only found this out after going to FPU or Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University.  I have been using a budget since I was 18. At the age of 18 I lived in my first place (alone). No one had ever explained money to me. I can recall asking the adults around me for financial advice at the age of 18. I find out that everyone around me including my parents was bad at managing money. I didn't understand how or why you had to manage money but now I do.

Yes, like many people I have lots of debt but unlike most I'm on a plan to be debt free. I want to be debt free for my son. Take a minute and think about what you would do if you were debt free. I will wait. My budget is a big part of my plan. 

“Why?” you ask. Because it helps me see, track, and pay attention to where my money is going.  It gives me power and control. Having a budget saves me money.

 “How?” you ask.  Well, it’s easy.  I pay less bills late. I have fewer overdrafts, and fewer payment (convenience) fees. By not paying bills late I save on that late fee businesses love to charge. These fees can be up to $30 or $40 depending on the type of bill.  The banks have to get their cut of course. Forgetting you purchased a $1 soda pop on a debit can cost you up to $40. And last but not least, technology has made it easy to wire, pay by phone, or pay online however many businesses charge a small fee for that service. Not paying this small fee may be your biggest savings yet, depending on the bill.  Let’s say you mortgage company charge an $8 payment fee each month.  That is $96 a yearly or a total of $2880 over the course of 30 year’s. If you plan better, you can mail the payments on time and save money.

So what’s a good budget?
The zero based budget is the best one I have used for two reasons. Usually the stuff you don't put in your budget (gas, fast-food and entertainment is what's eating up all your money). The zero based budget included everythings.  Not just bills, but your clothes, oil changes, entertainment, insurance, and fun money.  Fun money is that cash in your pocket just in case you see the “It”. Whatever the “It” is. When you dont feel guilty the next day for buying something that is where your freedom comes from. 

How do you do a zero based budget?
First start by doing the budget for the next month so if it's October do the budget for November in October. On the last week of the month do your budget for the next month. By this time your usually have all your bills for the following month (light, water, cable, etc.).  It’s easiest if you write all your expenses out. At the top of the page write your total take home income for the month.  Put your expenses in order from most important and automatic withdraw first and just keep going. Put a dollar amount by each item and subtract that amount from your income total at the top. Once you get to zero you are done.  If there are still bills left they either don't get paid or you can change the amounts on some of the other bills. Below is a zero based budget form and example sheet you can use. Try it out and let me know if it helps you get your finances in order.

Zero Based Budget Example

 

Zero Based Budget Worksheet

 

 

 

Mikey (who eats everything) vs Picky eater (who could do without it all)

 

So far I have not found a food my 13 month old son won't eat. On the other hand, I don't really eat much of anything.  I’m a great cook who can even cook the things I don't eat.  Most of the time I don't have time. I get tired of beef, chicken, and pork and seemed to have lost my creative gene for cooking.  I need quick and new ideas.

I'm looking to create a recipe box of about 40 recipes that only take 30 minutes or less. I was reading Parentmag.com today and they had a few interesting recipes I'm going to try.  I'm a working mom who gets home between 6:00 and 6:30 pm most nights. After not seeing my son all day I want to spend time with him and he with me. My son is in the tub by 830pm and bed by 9pm every night so I have little time to cook dinner.  Due to a health condition and taking care of my son, I'm tired a lot and don't have much energy. I don't want to be over a stove long but we need to eat.  I like meals with a protein, vegetable and a starch.

It's time for research. Send me some of your quick, easy, and tasty recipes I can cook.  I will take a picture, taste, and review them. I'll let you know which recipes make it in the box.

Recipe